As I approach another birthday, I am more than ever keenly aware of all the changes in me. Parts of my body seems to be embracing gravity and I seem to be fighting stiff achy joins with fatigue and a few grey hairs along with few more wrinkles. I was wondering how I am going to make it to half a century, which will be here soon if this is how I am feeling now?
Of course as I get older I can say that I have more life experience under my belt in a hindsight kind of way and pass it on my younger relatives or friends who will choose to ignore it anyway.
In the last few weeks as my birthday was looming in front of me, I have been trying to look back and see what changes I have made and maybe what changes I need to make to my life. As much as I have tried to ignore the aging factor, it seems every time I look in the mirror I notice a few more grey hairs making its appearance. It seems my hair follicles are telling me to accept the inevitable. I never thought there would come a day I would see so much white hair, which is more obvious because of my black hair. I guess I could always patronize myself with the thought that this grey hair equals being distinguished or more experienced.
Looking back I realize that I had assumed that by the time I get to this of stage of life I would have a career that I loved, a chunk of change in my bank account, house owner and basically living the good life. But instead here I am trying to get be self-employed, chasing the crazy dream that I have always had.
Sometimes I questions myself, if this a much delayed mid-life crisis or is this my life?
As I sit here trying to recall the bucket list items I had a few years ago, all I can remember from the list is running a marathon. I can look back and be happy that I can tick that off my list now along with the 25 plus half marathons I have run. It seems forgetfulness should be added to the aging factor.
Maybe I am one of those late bloomers, who starts everything later in life. While most of my friends were getting married and having kids, I was chasing a different dream of wanting to be a journalist/writer (which I did) and traveling the world. I have no regrets of not sticking to the norm and doing those things, but at the same time I guess I wish I had made different choices.
Maybe now is the time to sit down and make another bucket list, even though I am not ready to kick the bucket.
Procrastinate less is gonna be the number one item on my list. For some reason as I get older, I am turning out to be more of a procrastinator than I ever was. I was one of those people who always thrived under pressure, but I seem to be taking that to a whole other level. I should add write/blog more to my list, but words just seem to be fail me lately.
I could focus on the negative aspects of my life, the wrinkles, the grey hairs and aches and pains and make lists, but instead, I will blow out the candles on that cake and be thankful for the experience I have had so far and for all that I have achieved. After all the past is gone and the best is yet to come.