You decided to let me go and give up without a fight. You said you could not go any further and that another step could lead to more hurt. pain and maybe even hate. My world crumbled around me. I have begged and pleaded my case, however you chose to constantly dismiss me. You said parting was the best and you decided that moving on with someone else was the way to go. Those words you speak stab right into my heart, breaking it even more than it can take.
As much as I try, I can’t stop loving you, I never want to stop loving you, I don’t know how to stop loving you, even though you want me to stop loving you because you no longer love me.
You cut the rope off, didn’t you see me hanging in there ? I had my trembling fingers gripping on to that tiny feeble rope that used to be so strong. But you grabbed a knife and brutally severed the tope. No matter how much I wanted to hold on or how hard I tried to anchor myself on you, you made it impossible for me to do it.
I am not yet ready to say goodbye, yet it seems you have already left. I have tried taking the same path as you but my heart would not let me and the wonderful memories we shared makes me want to fight. I try to remember the bad memories, so I could teach myself how to un-love you, how to be nonchalant and how to be completely numb. I am trying to pick up the pieces of our memories and storing them in a place where it cannot hurt either one of us.
I know I hurt you and in return I hurt myself, oh how I wish I could be cold and distant like you.
Trying to run, trying to write, trying to find ways to distract myself of thinking of you with another is the most painful thing I have attempted to do. It is not easy, my mind wonders to where you are, what you are doing and with who you are constantly and I wonder how you could be be so distant and cold to me.
I hurt so much that I never want to love again. I have put my heart out so many times only to have it broken. I do not want to cry or beg anymore. I am tired of being weak and vulnerable and being pushed away by the people I love. I am exhausted trying to love you, my heart wants to rest and never love again.