The countdown to rock n roll begins

Its less than 3 days, approx 70 hours… ok you get the gist of it, till my half marathon. I feel the adrenaline rush through me as I think about it and more so since I just ran 10 miles.

This is no longer about just finishing the marathon, now I obsess that I need to do better time than I did last year. Once my mind is set on something, I tend to get carried away and somehow find the determination to do it. I guess that is not a bad thing.

I realize that, this somehow might also be my downfall, I want everything to be right, at least my version of being right.  Specially when it comes to cooking, because of how OCD I am, none of my friends or boy friend want to cook with me.

Unfortunately I have this insanely annoying habit of hovering and watching over their shoulders to ensure that whatever is being diced/chopped/cut is all the same size. Makes it hard for me to watch it being done incorrectly, at that moment all I wanna do is grab the knife and do it myself. As tempting as that may sound, I am trying to learn to let go and not expect everything to be done as per my opinion of perfection.

While cooking/baking at home with friends is somehow not too bad, because most often there might be a glass of wine involved during the cooking. However, being paid to ensure that everyone does things right at work is no easy feat, considering I might be the only person who is obsessed with it being right. To most it’s a job they get paid for, while it is also my job, I don’t know how to switch off and be ok with everything not being the same size and instead of taking a step back, I find myself wanting to do everything, which is very unrealistic.

But it is something I am learning as I go along, that while it is good to have standards, there are times I need to take a step back, take a deep breath and walk away.

Sorry I did not mean to digress, so back to running and training for my half marathon.

For a while I seem to struggle to run, I would force myself and I eventually even bought new running shoes looking for motivation. That somehow seemed to have worked, well it might be the shoes or the fact that I have too many friends supporting me and believing in me, making it possible for me to go on.

Being able to do one 10 mile run was a feat in itself for me. There are days I leave home with the intention of running 10 miles, but 6 miles into it, I hear my stomach rumble or my body refusing to keep going, eventually retracing my  steps back home, feeling disappointed with myself for not having accomplished what I set out to do.

The fact that I did it, takes a weight off me.

As the clock clicks and I can actually countdown the hours to me running 13.1 miles, the excitement is starting to build. I maybe excited, but I am also nervous about all the what ifs, then I tell myself, I did this once before and crossed the finish line and lived to tell that tale, so why would I not do the same again.

 

 

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
This entry was posted in Food/Baking, Life, Love, Running and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to The countdown to rock n roll begins

  1. Jim says:

    I like! JD

    Like

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