Sometimes there is no Escaping

It has been one of those days… One of those days where my past seems to haunt me. I’ve done great in the last few months immersing myself in anything and everything to not think about the  hurt, betrayal or the fact that I was stabbed in my heart and my back.

My day started as usual with me heading to the farmers market, which gives me a lot of pleasure. How many people get a chance to experiment with new recipe ideas and have someone else pay for it. My kitchen is my playground and I love experimenting with different spices and trying unusual twists and this week it was Apple and cardamom.

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Well back to my not so great weekend. One of the assignments on WP challenge was writing about someone you lost, my mind starts churning about the losses I have faced and then like a bad record that gets stuck on one thing, my mind stays stuck on my ex.

For the most part it would be something absolutely random that will bring thoughts of him to my mind and then there is no escaping it. I start playing different scenarios in my head about things, start wondering about the what if’s and find myself going down a rabbit hole for no reason….and have a hard time climbing out of that hole.

Despite my attempts to climb out of the rabbit hole, I struggle with it, so I finally put on my running shoes and hope that it would help me.

I switch my brain off and let my feet lead me, I try to shut my mind off things, but it seems no matter how hard or fast I try to run to escape him, I find thoughts of him ingrained in me. As I run, my feet keeps going faster, I am trying to exhaust my brain to not think of him, but thoughts of him are keeping up with me while I keep pounding away.

This songs comes up on my playlist and as tired as I am, I find myself amused at the lyrics and how appropriate they seem.

After having run 7 miles, I seem to have left thoughts of him at mile 5.

Talking a friend about it later that evening, she reminded me why I should not waste my time thinking about him. She reminded me about his hypocrisy, his double standards and his lack ethics or morals….yes I might have lost him, but in a weird twist of faith, I found my strength and my love for running.

 

This is part of WP writing challenge.

 

 

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
This entry was posted in Life, Love, Running, WP Writing 101, WP Writing 201 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Sometimes there is no Escaping

  1. Very good! A few wording errors but no biggie, you can revise and correct them then. I really felt your hurt, disappointment, sorrow, finally anger and THEN, renewal! Way to go! Good job!

    Like

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