It’s that aha moment I have been waiting for

It is just four three two more days for Christmas and compared to previous years, I am not digging myself a hole to hide in. The last few years, or every single year since I moved here, dealing with the holidays have been difficult. I miss being with my family and friends during this time. Typically, I just close my eyes, pretend that it is not the holidays and hold my breath till it’s all over and life goes back to normal. Considering that Christmas decorations seem to come out as early as October, holding my breath waiting for it to be over is never easy.

However, this year, I have a different approach, it was not intentional, but  somehow I feel like this weight has been lifted off my shoulder and I am ready to move forward.  I still do miss everyone, but I decided burying my head under the sand is probably not the best way to deal with it.

I instead took my head out of the sand and  invited a bunch of friends for dinner and for the first time I even got a Christmas tree. Maybe the invitation got extended after I’ve had a few too many glasses of wine. However, the more I thought about it and debated between canceling or immersing myself in a huge food orgy with my friends, I started to lean towards throwing a dinner party. After all food is a huge part of my life and who I am and what better way to celebrate this season or in my case an excuse to celebrate something, than having around 10 of my close friends to spend the evening with.

I thrive on planning a menu, shopping for things and spending way too much time obsessing over every little detail.  Fortunately, I enjoy every minute of it, the challenge of trying to figure out different things to cook/bake and spending hours in the kitchen making an elaborate meal.

It strangely feels odd to me that I am for once enjoying the holidays. Let me rephrase that, I am enjoying planning a dinner party,  but I still do not enjoy the shopping for gifts part. In case I never said it, I hate shopping. Well let me spare you my rant about that. Back to my celebration, it seems I had this aha moment and want to indulge myself and my friends by celebrating and not be the one who plays Scrooge.

I have not been able to pin point what it is that made me see things differently this year, but I decided I should not concern  myself with the why’s, who’s or what’s. The important thing is that I am having a more cheery disposition towards the holidays and I will take that.

No matter what, I will miss my family, but as we all know, you can’t have everything you want in life, you win some and you lose some. I may not be spending time with my parents, but I will be spending it with my friends who have been there for me, during trials and tribulations and I can’t ask for more than that. (For those of my friends who live on the other Coast, I will miss you guys very much and wish you were here too)

Despite the argument of being politically correct or incorrect, I am gonna say “MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU”.

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
This entry was posted in Food/Baking, Life, Love, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to It’s that aha moment I have been waiting for

  1. Saw your comment in the Community Pool and came to check out your blog. I think you expressed your feelings perfectly in this post, and it feels very authentic. I love that you took the positives out of a lonely and usually difficult situation. Celebrating Christmas without family is painful, and I really admire you for finding a way to make it enjoyable. Great post and Merry Christmas to you!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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