One step in the wrong direction

I made the mistake of stepping on a scale today. I suppose stepping on a scale should not be an issue, but to me somehow it is never that simple.

It wasn’t because I have gained 25 lbs, it’s just a measly 4-5 pounds more than I am usually comfortable with, but it might as well have been 25 pounds considering how I felt. I am not one who obsesses over my weight, ok maybe that is not true. But I have a comfort zone and if I find myself over that, I like to reel myself in. I feel if I don’t draw the line somewhere, considering how much I love food, there will be no stopping me.

When I stepped off the scale, I knew what I had to do, ankle injury or not, I needed a run. The run might not do anything for me at this moment, there is not going to be any instant  gratification, but it would make me feel better.

I knew my ankle would be aggravated with the running, but that was not going to hinder me now. There was no stopping me. I step outside my door, breathe in the spring air and start to sprint in the usual direction.

A friend asked me recently if I could run without music and I realized that it is not something that I have tried. I am unsure if I could even do that. I worry that no music will probably get my mind spiraling down a rabbit hole and that most often is never a good thing. People close to me accuse me of being an over thinker and that my brain never shuts down, that is debatable depending on who you ask, but personally,  I am gonna plead the 5th on that at this moment.

Running and music somehow go hand in and hand in my world. I like listening to all the new artists that I find out about. Music distracts me and makes me forget the miles I want to run, it gives me something to focus on while pounding that sidewalk.

So I continue running,  thinking of my ambitious plans of attempting to run one or maybe 2 half marathons a month and lets not forget that full marathon I am doing this year. Even my friends who live out-of-town, entice me to visit them with sending me lists of half marathons in their area.

I continue running till I feel a twinge of pain and I decide its time to stop for a few, during which time I see this red sailboat drifting away. All I could think of was ‘Red sails in the sunset, way out in the sea, oh carry my loved one, home safely to me…..’ !

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I head back home, 5.4 miles later, it is safe to say I have not lost weight, but at least it makes me feel better. Running has that effect on me. Who knows how long this love affair with running will continue, but I want to enjoy it while I can. Maybe something will take over my love for running,  it might be an injury, but for now, I just want to enjoy the fact  that I can combine the things I enjoy (music and running) to me that is the perfect blend of the two worlds.

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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