Life is sometimes a roller coaster ride and I need to jump off

It has been weeks since I have sat down to write. The thoughts for posts constantly float in my head, however, sitting down to put it down on here has been the challenging part. I wish I could say I was off traveling the world, hiking up a mountain or jumping off a perfectly good plane or busy being swept off my feet that finding the time to write has been hard to come by. Unfortunately it is none of it, life somehow has recently seemed like a roller coaster ride that never seems to end.

I seem to be going from one thing to another every single day, leaving me drained at the end of the day with little energy to read or write. Working 5 days a week for 9 hours and then heading home to bake up a storm has drained me.

Today I finally took a long drive.   I just needed to feel the wind in my face, while the music drowns all serious thoughts in my head and I dream about sitting on beach somewhere sipping a margarita and watching the waves with no care in the world. I dream of days with no worries about waking up to an alarm, no baking disasters or oven disasters that need to get averted or about colleagues not showing up to work…. I just dream of lazy days.

I sing off-key to the music that is playing on my iPod. This is probably the only time I could sing my heart out and not worry about who would be listening to my off-key singing. Every song that plays somehow helps me reminisce about something or someone. I even think about my ex when I hear this song. I remember him playing this song to me.

Thoughts of him are never good, it takes me down memory lane and my heart always feels a tinge of sadness. I try to think of the good times, which we had. I start thinking of the first half marathon I ran which was with him and how I will run that same half marathon again. I told myself that I will keep running that same race till thoughts of him no longer make me sad or make me think of him.

The thoughts of running remind me that I just registered to run my first full marathon this fall. This was my new year resolution, however, after signed up for it, I feel overwhelmed and constantly question myself if I am ready to run 26.2 miles. While baking I listen to endless podcasts about running, hoping that I can pick up some tips on running a full marathon. A friend recently told me that I am a glutton for punishment. While I might have to agree with her on that, I thrive on pushing myself and challenging myself on a regular basis.

As much as I question myself and my ability to run a full marathon, I believe that if I keep saying ‘I can do it, I can do it’ that I will actually be able to do it. Worse case scenario, I will have the ability to say  tried, I failed, but there is always another race I could attempt. My goal as always is just crossing that finish line.

The songs continue to play, as I continue to drive with the wind in my face. 2 hours of driving with no real care is just what I needed. I feel like I am ready to continue my roller coaster ride at least for now. Next time I have an overwhelming need for peace and quiet, I suppose it would be another long drive with nothing but me, my dreams and some music to sooth my soul.

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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13 Responses to Life is sometimes a roller coaster ride and I need to jump off

  1. I don’t do it now because We can’t afford for me to and I am not driving much now anyway…..(health reasons)…..I miss getting in the truck, car, jeep ??????and just driving for hours and hours, When stressed I would hop in and head towards the mountains. Sometimes finding a motel along the way.
    My son and I took long road trips together. Even after he moved out, Bobby would call and say “Mom. It’s Road Trip Time” and It was. It wasn’t always long trips but sometimes just a quick drive up the pass was all we needed.
    I miss all of that. I miss seeing new places. Traveling.
    I am not a baker. I bake but it is not what I really enjoy doing. I love to cook. I love it when I can afford to cook like I want to. LOL.
    SInce I usually have to juggle our meals , I enjoy just coming up with different ways to fix the same old STUFF.
    I look forward to reading All you have to share.
    Thank you for visiting SAOT’S So I could find you here. Happy Thursday, Sarah.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Sarah. I’m sorry you are not able to take any road trips. If I were around I would invite you to go with me, considering that’s not possible, it might have to be a virtual trip. I love traveling too, the adventure of the unknown. Cooking and baking is my therapy,
      The sifting, whisking, and seeing the end result makes me happy. It sometimes is the simple things in life. Thank you again for taking the time to read and respond. Tania

      Like

  2. I’ve just read your blog and i’m glad I did. Found it to be therapeutic I think just like your running and baking 🙂 I’ve studied bread making but never had the chance to practice it since it’s really not a passion but just part of learning. Although I would like to run, I have to opt out of it because of some health issues so I’m happy to know that someone is doing things I am not able to do. Love will definitely come your way as it comes to mine after a break-up 🙂 Continue living and loving a wonderful life. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for your kind words. I wish I could bake bread, the few attempts have turned out to be disasters. But I enjoy baking pastries and pies and tarts which I sell at farmers market. I am not a natural runner, I struggle to keep going but I enjoy pushing myself to keep going. Thank you for reading.

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  3. Way to make some time for you to clear the mechanism. Driving in my car also tends to become “me time.” I can totally relate to a lot of what you’re dealing with. Hang in there, and just keeping it one day at a time! God bless you. Audrey

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you Audrey. Sometimes I take on too much and then beat myself for not having some me time. The best me time is driving, which you relate too. So hope you enjoy more long drives and me time. Thank you for reading and responding.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. jdjung says:

    I enjoy your blog because you seem to express your true feelings. That is unusual these days. Also isn’t running therapeutic? Not only does it help me emotionally, but if I’m stumped on a problem at work or wherever, the answers seem to come to me when I’m running. Looking forward to reading more. – JD underratedreads.com

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for reading and the comment. Glad you enjoy reading my blog. Running is definitely therapeutic and also my alone time. I love just having the music and my thoughts and running alone. If I have a bad day, nothing better than running a few miles. Thank you again.

      Like

  5. It’s great you have found a balance with baking and running.

    Liked by 2 people

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