Change is difficult, but not changing is fatal

The fan whirls over me on a hot and humid Saturday morning trying to give me a sense of cool air while the birds chirp outside and the pastries bake in the oven.  I am starting to feel nostalgic as I look around the apartment almost empty of furniture but strewn with boxes.  I feel a little forlorn when I think that my time at the farmers market is also coming to an end.

Despite my nostalgia and sadness, I have decided that I am not going to let it get to me. I made a conscious decision about leaving and moving and I have to stay focused on that, even though I am unsure where my next destination will be.

For now, I know things will be in storage while I go wonder the world and get my ‘travel the world bug’ taken care of. I have always fantasized about being free and traveling the world for few months with no worries about an apartment, car, job or meeting deadlines. I know it seems rather extreme and for a while I was questioning my sanity.

Leaving this apartment I have lived in for the last 4 years is going to be bittersweet. I remember walking through these doors the first time with my then boy friend and telling him that I don’t like this apartment because there was no natural light coming in. However, eventually we decided that having a washer and dryer and not climbing 50 steps to the 3rd floor was better than some natural light coming in. We moved in and eventually broke up, and I was left in this apartment I was not enjoying but was too much in a rut to get out of.

Fast forward a few years and they want the apartment back forcing me out of my comfort zone and making me rethink everything I have known. I could go buy a place or rent another place and continue to be in my rut, however, I decided that it was time to take control of my life and shake things up and do something different.

Like Sam Cooke croons ” it’s been a long, a long time coming, but I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will.’

My friends and family tried talking me out of this extreme decision, but eventually decided to let me make my decision. The people I work for are still in denial about my leaving, they think it is some crazy phase I am going through and refuse to accept that I will be soon be gone and therefore need to find someone to replace me.

Typically I would be stressing and worried about everything, but I have decided I am going to enjoy this time and when am done exploring the places I want to, I will get back to the real world which involves deadlines and paying bills and being a worker bee.

Change is not easy and all these years the fear of change kept me rooted and in a rut but now it is time to go make the change happen and enjoy what it will bring.

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About my random musings

I am originally from South East Asia and I moved to the US about 15 years ago to follow my heart. My heart has since been broken a few times, but I continue to be on journey of trying to mend it. I could talk about running, baking or writing in a small crowd, but put me in a room full of strangers and I will be the one standing in a corner people watching. When I am not writing or running, I would be in my kitchen, flour strewn all over the kitchen counters, music playing in the background and me just rolling and folding dough, excited about what my creation will turn out to be. Besides that I love passionately, when I love, I give it my all, not always a good thing, but that is who I am. I jump both feet in and sometimes I come out with regrets but having learnt a lesson. I believe everything happens for a reason and this is my place to share bits and pieces of my life, my adventures and sometimes misadventures. Hope you enjoy reading my stories as much I enjoy sharing them with you.
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8 Responses to Change is difficult, but not changing is fatal

  1. I think it sounds wonderful that you are going to travel the world for awhile. Change is very difficult but you seem to be handling it beautifully! I’m not sure what you made there but it looks delicious!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. creative. yummy pie lol

    Liked by 1 person

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